Hard at work inside modern equipment are swarms of busy electrons. These humble particles zip along, powering everyday essentials like vehicles, appliances, and cat videos. Now experts warn that widespread electron-dumping is overcrowding earth ground sooner than predicted.
Ohmington, Nebraska – Decades ago, the city commissioned its earth ground for residents to dispose of worn-out electrons, voltage spikes, and unwanted audio hum. Although the ground concept caught on quickly, early estimates still predicted the site’s capacity would last centuries.
Now, only 40 years and 3.14 expansions later, Ohmington’s ground is running out of room. By as early as 2039, the city may face the unthinkable. Overflow with spent electrons or find another place to dump them.
The Federal Agency for Returning Charged Energy (FARCE) warns that regional demand is creating a logistical nightmare for towns like Ohmington across the board.
FARCE commissioner Elekra Schoken issued the latest warning on April 1st. “It hertz to say, but we’ve had our ion the problem and there is a crisis brewing just below us.” said Schocken during Wednesday’s press conference. “We have prepared a report that is both underwhelming and overwhelming until someone reads it.”
Meanwhile, Ohmington’s electrical engineers were hard at work fighting over where place the single ground reference.
As earth grounds everywhere struggle to keep up with rising intake, some see the rapid overcrowding as a wake-up call to find a long-term solution.
“I haven’t been grounded since I was a kid!” said long-time Ohmington resident Kate Schrodinger. Can’t they just fly our used-up electrons on a rocket to the sun?”
Others questioned the veracity of FARCE’s claims.
“You can’t trust atoms.” said Sally Sinefeld. “They make up everything.”
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